Originally Posted by Minxxa
Everybody always says that it's not a good idea to have "relationship broken, add more people". So why does that advice suddenly seem to be seen as null and void when they've already made the mistake to venture forth? It's as if once you go into poly, you're stuck with that, even if you did it prematurely and your primary relationship can't handle it yet?
I think every effort should be made to NOT enter a relationship when you're not ready, but once you're in it and hearts are involved, every effort should be made not to break up two people who care for each other unless the relationship has reached a natural death. As someone whose primary experience of poly has been as a secondary, I have a real sensitivity and trigger about the idea of my relationship having to end because of problems totally outside of what's going on with me and my partner. I can understand why it might have to happen, but I think it could leave a deep scar because there'd be this lack of resolution, potentially moreso than if the relationship ended for its own reasons.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.