What is the reason you have for halting all her activity? Jealousy? I don't get it, why not let her go do her thing? If you aren't interested then spend your time doing your work. What's the difference between then and now? I think you are choosing to see this as something it isn't. If she were out to a knitting club it wouldn't be any different. She is could be out doing her thing and you doing yours and you could set a once a week date night to spend time building and securing your bond.
Ya, the swinging thing doesn't seem to be the answer. It sounds like she feels trapped. Let her go do her thing and avoid triggers that make you jealous until things have settled into a routine. Having a date night would give you a chance to create a routine that includes closeness to her.
Why are you concerned with not being attractive to this woman you are now just friends with? If the nre is over and you don't feel like fucking her again then you don't feel like fucking her. No biggy. Things change. It was fun, now its not. I'm not understanding why you are even thinking about it. It seems we are two very different people, the amount of stress you seem to create over things that are of little circumstance to me I find fascinating. Lol, the two of you sound so tightly wound up!