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Old 11-06-2009, 09:53 PM
Manno Manno is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Eugene, OR
Posts: 55
Default Happy that this experience maybe helping others.

First off... this forum has been immensely helpful for me during this whole thing.

"So, back to Manno... do you have any more prospects? and how do you explain where your wife is to your kid, when she's out with her bf? Also, does she spend the night? One of my concerns is the loneliness while she's gone.
My wife has always gone out by herself. So A is out when she's with J and I don't have to worry about that. She doesn't stay there, but just today I realized that she thought that I was waiting up for her (when I really was just trying to be accessible to my daughter while she was gone) I'm okay with her not coming home, but I don't want it to be an all the time thing if it happened. Occasionally, sure, but really on a saturday morning, I'd like her to be there. Were we kidless, I think it wouldn't matter as much.

That, and the fact that I'm an artist and very visual, so I imagine what might be happening, and I get that little jealousy twinge. I want to be there ... in his place ... or at least have someone here with me.
You can't place yourself in her relationship with him. Even the imagery. If she's still with you, then that is clue enough that she enjoys her time with you as well. You wouldn't want her doing the same for you.

If you are an artist, I'm a budding painter, take that energy onto a canvas. You'll appreciate it more... and I bet that artistic spirit is one of the things that yourwife finds attractive about you.

I also sometimes wonder about the long term effects of this situation. What if she ends up loving him more and I'm just part of the daily grind with kids, school, homework, chores, bills, etc? She'd still love me but it seems like it would just become kind of ho hum. I want to be the exciting guy! How's this working for you so far?"
Look at the first part of your lives, did you not already become another thing on that list. That changed it. And I'm sure it isn't now.

And yes... I want to be the exciting guy, but I don't have an easy way of doing anything outside of the house with A right now and I want to fix that... That is a problem and I refuse to relent until I've found a solution.

As for other prospects for a relationship: I have an infatuation right now... and it is a distant one. But other than that, not really. I'm sure that will change. But I agree with you, a work network that offered some sort of socialization in this level would be nice, but that's not really an option. I already keep my nonwork self pretty private... this would more than likely shatter some of my coworkers minds.
Media Specialist/Pop Culturalist/Eugenian/Native Louisianian/Professional Weirdo

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