Thank you both nycindie and redpepper for your thoughtful responses.
I am breathing nycindie and taking it oh so slow! This has been an issue, I don't like the word issue, a situation then for a few years now so neither of us has gone into this with our blinders on.
I am giving my wife as much attention and hugs and talks as she needs and more besides. We both know that the next couple of months we have to let go of the death grip we have on our relationship as we are slowly getting throttled and it doesn't feel healthy.
I have given her permission to seek a companion that can provide for her things that I am not comfortable doing. We will continue to talk about this as we got together so young and I don't want her to turn around down the line and regret not being with other people either emotionally/sexually. I have regrets from being in a long term relationship (not this relationship) from the age of 16 and I wished I had listened to people around me saying you are only young once.
With regards to feeling guilty I was going to type that it was Catholic guilt in my OP and funny enough as I was talking about this thread today my wife said the same thing!
I will ask another question which I am sure will pop up if the meeting/date goes ahead. What do I say if he asks what my situation is without freaking the guy out or making me sound like I want everything and everyone?
I don't want to skirt around our situation but I don't want this getting back to his boss/our friend if it doesn't pan out or he has ulterior motives.