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Old 12-01-2011, 08:00 PM
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MindfulAgony MindfulAgony is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 192

Lots of really good points here. Love the wisdom.

I think I can only add in one area. For a long time while I was sexually active, I viewed sex as the primary way that I know I was loved. I grew very agitated and hurt in the cases where sex was not available for whatever reason.

It is true that touch is very important for me from a love language perspective. But, I didn't do a lot of hard work on why I had linked sex and love. Now that I have done so, I am much more relaxed about it. I can both express my love and see the expression of love in much wider set of behaviors.

I've found that my genuine horniness is a different beast that can be satiated through many means.

I no longer get that unrecognized fear of abandoment in the pit of my stomach when I haven't had sex with a partner recently.

I'm not saying that this is going on with you, Goimir. But, the stories of both you and your wife reminded me of myself.
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“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”
-Pema Chodron
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