Well, the stumble by accident part was bad, but now that I look at it, for the best. Here's the deal. My wife's past included a lot of sexual repression that led to awkward relationships with previous men. This all transferred into our relationship, but I saw more in her and told myself that it was her I was in love with, not the sex. Unfortunately, over time, this led to a lot of marital instability that caused fights and bad feelings and eventually a loss of interest in each other from a physical standpoint. Fortunately, we got along very well outside the bedroom. Now she tells me that about 2 years ago she "grew" into her sexual self and started enjoying it ... by herself. By this point things between the 2 of us had become mechanical and there was too much bad history. So, after finding out about her new friend, we started communicating again. I've lost 30+ lbs, look good and feel great. She finally talks to me and we are having the best sex ever. We find our new found communication a huge boost to having the best marriage we know of ... it's our "honesty clause" that does it. No more secrets, and it's working.
Next time your in Indiana, we'll have you over