Thanks Annabel... That article is dead on exactly what I needed to read. I sent it on to my partner as well.
Unfortunately, things imploded this afternoon. He sat me down for a talk that went something like this: ' since you seem unwilling to change and I am not willing to change or break up with her, then I think we should break up'. I was devasted. I never said I would never change, I never said I was unwilling to change, I never said I rejected poly... He read all sorts of things in between the lines that just weren't there. And she encouraged him to that interpretation. Then he said something that made me realize in a flash of insight that Rose was right - I had been blaming her for things that really were his responsibility. Like, really truly his fault. I broke down, wanted to call her immediately and apologize, but he wouldn't let me. I offered to write another letter, he didn't want me too... He insisted that he talk to her himself and arrange for us to get together. While we were waiting for her to get off work so he could talk to her, he and I talked some more. I agreed to go ahead and give this thing a real try.
So he went over to a friends... Called her... And she imploded... So he went to her place. He's been over there for over 2 hours ostensibly trying to talk her into forgiving me and giving us a try. The fact that she is apparently resisting makes me think that I am right in my intuition that she actually wanted to break us up and is herself not willing to actually go into poly.
What a fricken mess.
Last edited by Primarilyhurt; 12-01-2011 at 03:28 AM.