Thank you, this has been a lot of good points raised. I will look for that book.
I was feeling very very awful when I declared that I was never having sex with anyone again. Yes, it was a melodramatic statement in a moment of woe. He decided to take it as the literal truth and make it all about him and not try to help me deal with the crappy way I felt, kind of do still feel, about myself.
And I was still sick when he tried to kiss me; I also have issues with his smoking (freshly smoky lips, plus being ill, just does not work for me).