That is absolutely ridiculous. I would be deeply offended if you were my gf and you agreed to cut off all contact with me just because your husband wants something you're not ready to give him. What sense does that make? He says he wants intimacy, aka sex, ok, how is forcing you to be sad because you're missing your bf supposed to make that come faster if NOT through coercion?? Just, ew.
Maybe he's jealous that you guys have something physical you can share that you both find fulfilling while you and he don't have that right now and he just doesn't know how to express it? Maybe he figures that the sexual tension that you could be putting into contact with him is being "wasted" on snuggling instead (which is not how these things work but perhaps he doesn't get that)? Does he have any better explanation for *how* this request is supposed to bring you guys greater intimacy/sex? Does he care about the damage it could do to your relationship with the bf?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.