Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
As long as "being spontaneous" is an accepted practice within your relationship then that is great! I think for most, the idea of "spontaneity" is akin to communicating after the fact. Especially in new experiences with poly I think communication before the fact is extremely important.
if i am out i DO check in, i send a text or i will make a call, so he knows where i am and i tell him what time i expect to be home,
if i decide that i want to change my plans and spend the night, or if something happens and im going to be later, then i simply send a text or make a call to let him know and its usually no problem unless there is some spesific need for me to come home when i said i would then being spontanious is fine,
so its not really after the fact because i do check in i just am allowed to change my plans, i don't have a set time to be home and i am allowed to spend the night away from home, and i give same privladges to him. I don't see why having set time to come home and not being allowed to stay out all night would be a problem
if you know where your partner is and know that they are safe,
and they are meeting your needs and spending quality time and being respectful.