Thing is, I had to sort of break up with both. They were drivng me crazy, getting all proprietary. Now I see the one that lives closer to me as friends, often (no sex) and the one that lives far I call him when I need a lover. No discussing any details with either one. That makes my life less complicated. I was willing to work for the polyamory but not to ease anyones consciousness, continually. It matters so much to men who you are sleeping with men. Women only care about who you really love. I can handle my man sleeping with another but I better be in the picture.