The previous relationship I had no expectations for. It started as a threesome 'just sex' thing. Neither of us either identified as poly then or knew much about it. We just both knew we loved V and still loved each other. The rest of it was fumbling our way around not knowing what the hell we were doing. Both of us thinking we shouldn't be doing this and that something was probably wrong with it but we didn't care. Now we know a LOT more and that nothing is wrong with it. As for the newgirl, she kicked us to the curb in the previous situation, but I understand what you're saying for future possible relationships.
I do agree about what you're saying in terms of where jealousy comes from and I am trying to get Rain to work through those feelings now rather than later.