My biggest issue is how are some of the ways that others have dealt with the insecure feelings?
I would like to tell you that what you are feeling is completely and totally normal.
First, I suggest that you have an open line of communication with both parties at all times. This has been the “bridge” for me. I know that any time I am having trouble dealing with something, I can talk to either one of them, or both, and we TOGETHER work out a solution or at least a compromise.
Second, acknowledging this is just the beginning is an awesome step. There is not a set of rules to be able to define everything about the relationship. This is something that the 3 of you will have to work out. What works for some does not always work for others, but if there is that line of communication, then there can be a compromise of solution found. One thing I do feel that is extremely important for you to do, is NOT “beat yourself up” for having the issues or the feelings about this.
It is not an easy thing to transition from a husband and wife to a husband, wife, and girlfriend/wife (whatever distinction you give her). You have to go at a pace that you feel you can handle. Forcing someone to be a part of this life, or to accept things they are not ready to accept, can only lead to disaster. This will be a growing process between all of you, much like a marriage is a growing process. I am sure that when you got married, things were not easy at first.
If it is something that you truly want to pursue, I can tell you (from my experience) that it can be the most amazing thing to have in your life. If all works out, you will not only have one, but two, completely amazing, loving and caring people to share your life with as well as depend on. I would not trade anything for the life I have with my husband and my wife (sounds weird I know), but that is how we look at it.
Finally, one suggestion my wife gave to me (thankfully) is this website. I will admit that I felt like I was losing my mind when she introduced me to it. It is an amazing way to communicate with others who share the life that you have chosen. They are an awesome support system, and make me feel less crazy!!! (LOL).
I wish you luck!! I hope you are lucky enough to be as happy as I am with my husband and wife.
Last edited by countrygirl; 11-29-2011 at 08:32 PM.
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