see this thread. http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...476#post113476
Go slowly is all I can advise. I went through the ups and downs like it sounds like you are having. Today I got tired of the downs and decided to take a break and ended things. I say break because I would like to think I can find a way to be ok with the arrangement in the future.
Best of luck to you. Feel free to PM me if you would like. The people on this forum are great.