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Old 11-28-2011, 09:03 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I think you can tell her everything you wrote here, just direct it to her. It's very clear.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mekodesu View Post
one more correspondence with B this morning which leads me to believe that my relatinship as it was is done. and i am honestly at a loss of words because she is now convinced i lied to her or used her to be with bg... honestly im kinda floored because that isnt and never was the case and that is something i would NEVER do, its just not right.

reading what she wrote me today hurt like hell and made me furious because it showed that whatever efforts i made were not good enough for the expectations she had. my relationship with bg has always been different in that our deep friendship and connections there were behind it and i see now that was a problem, im kind of at a loss as to wondering what i could have (in her eyes) done about that?

i did what i thought best at the time and still do and worked not only on the relationship aspect with b but also building that friendship becasue that is what was and still is most important to me and i know we could/can have an amazing friendship, but now i am worried that if b and i do have a fall out that my friendship with bg who is my best friend may also be in jeopardy and that is a thought that kinda kills me some.

i shot bg a msg asking if i can talk to her later but now i dont know what to say, i dont want to lose either of them in my life and i dont want to miss any of the boys life that hasnt really begun yet, and yet i fear both may happen.

i am sorry to vent so much on here, but i know that here is where there are ppl who can really understand the situation from all sides.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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