one more correspondence with B this morning which leads me to believe that my relatinship as it was is done. and i am honestly at a loss of words because she is now convinced i lied to her or used her to be with bg... honestly im kinda floored because that isnt and never was the case and that is something i would NEVER do, its just not right.
reading what she wrote me today hurt like hell and made me furious because it showed that whatever efforts i made were not good enough for the expectations she had. my relationship with bg has always been different in that our deep friendship and connections there were behind it and i see now that was a problem, im kind of at a loss as to wondering what i could have (in her eyes) done about that?
i did what i thought best at the time and still do and worked not only on the relationship aspect with b but also building that friendship becasue that is what was and still is most important to me and i know we could/can have an amazing friendship, but now i am worried that if b and i do have a fall out that my friendship with bg who is my best friend may also be in jeopardy and that is a thought that kinda kills me some.
i shot bg a msg asking if i can talk to her later but now i dont know what to say, i dont want to lose either of them in my life and i dont want to miss any of the boys life that hasnt really begun yet, and yet i fear both may happen.
i am sorry to vent so much on here, but i know that here is where there are ppl who can really understand the situation from all sides.