Originally Posted by Magdlyn
As far as him getting aroused for the gf despite a long sex/kink session that YOU thought should have been enough for him and her, it took you off guard. It's like you are saying, "*I* am satisfied, so they should be too! Wah!" However, your h was definitely NOT satisfied and got hard and tried to fuck her. Once again, you 2 are individuals, not a single unit, so if you agree to that in any way, why not honor it? If not now, soon.
I have imagined from what I've read that there is a kink factor but not necessarily a D/s factor with her or her husband as the overall D (and I could be way off) but the my response to this is that it's not she says "I am satisfied so they should be too" but that she thought she and her husband had a clear specified agreement to not have sex without all three of them awake and involved.
It sounds like the agreement may have not been as clear as she thought, so they rediscussed it and clarified it. I think you have lots of good insight and advice if she is the Domme, but I think if she isn't and this is just a case of regular old vanilla agreements that it's OK to take time and work things out with her partners without being pushed to change the dynamic before anybody is asking for it or ready for it.