Originally Posted by redpepper
I live in a vee that is very loving and devoted as a triad when it comes to living together, raising our son together, and everyday life. Just because two are dating doesn't mean the third need be left out. Metamour relationships are very important and can make or break a dynamic. In fact, I would say they are JUST as important as the romantic relationship. Developing the boundaries around metamour relationships is as important as developing the boundaries around the romantic relationship. That doesn't mean a great friendship necessarily. It can mean an agreement to tolerate each other and be respectful, but all that needs to be sorted out. Its up to the individuals involved. With metamours it is sometimes more complicated as they don't choose each other.
Thanks for your input redpepper... I'm not sure either of us could stand living with someone if we didn't feel they were our friend and we only tolerated them.
We have talked a bit more as well and neither of us is ready for the other person to go out dating on their own. I don't know that we ever would be because neither of us wants an open relationship in that sense. We would be open to the idea of a vee if we met another couple and we all developed feelings for each other. The feelings needn't be equal, that is unrealistic, I understand that, but at least friendship. Maybe what we want is impossible and if it never happens then it never happens but I'm 30 and she's 28 so we still have a good deal of our lives for the right woman to come along