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Old 11-06-2009, 12:27 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

I find this so interesting as it reminds me of Mono and my beginnings in a lot of ways....

I will let him go into details if he wants...

First of all, it became evident that I could not have both styles of poly without someone getting hurt. I wanted commitment and depth and someone to know me... I mean really know me. Not just think I'm cute and want to fuck me and call that loving because we would do it often.... sure, that works for some and did for me for a time, but it was not what I wanted for the future and the time came to shit or get off the pot.

Anyway, as I said, he can "detail" if he wants. I know he doesn't like going there anymore as it taints what we have now and I don't want to jeopordize that for anything.

I think what I would say is something along the lines of...."Baby I love you and think we have something really special and unique. I need you to be with just me right now sexually as I find sex special and bonding between us. I understand that we can love, have connection and a strong bond and be able to see others, but for now I need us to respect that we have a stronger bond than the others in our lives that could lead to a primary situation... If you were to have sex with anyone else right now I would think that you don't want the same thing. I very dearly "need" to have a primary relationship with someone and "want" to have that with you." (provided this IS what you want of course.... if not then I think you may want to look at what you do want).
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