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Old 11-27-2011, 05:00 PM
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BrigidsDaughter BrigidsDaughter is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 822

Hmm, had to think about this one because it has been a while since we've discussed boundaries. I would have to say that the two boundaries Runic Wolf still holds me to are

1) No sex in his car.

2) No making dates for alone time/ play time with Wendigo w/o discussing it with him first. IE: No sneaking your boyfriend into the house when I'm not home. And if Wendigo somehow manages to surprise me and stop by, I have to let Runic Wolf know it happened.

As for the other half of our quad, there are 3 boundaries in place that are for Pretty Lady's comfort because this is her first foray into poly and she believe's she is monoamarous and thus limits our relationships with her to FWB.

1) Wendigo and I are not to engage in BDSM activities with each other in her presence; though that boundary has loosened to allow him to claw me during sex.

2) Wendigo and I agreed to limit our declarations of love. When this all started 2 1/2 years ago, Wendigo and I tried pretty damned hard not to fall in love, failed miserably and got caught up in NRE for almost a year. For the first month of our relationship we were pretty lovey dovey verbally and over instant messanger; partly because we were held by a no PIV intercourse boundary by Pretty Lady. The night that we chose to break that boundary, we were somewhat drunk, but I won't use that as an excuse. We chose to break it and cried afterwards fully realizing what the consquences might be only after our hormones had cooled. Thankfully, Pretty Lady is an amazing woman and agreed that we'd all been a bit misguided to think that expecting Wendigo to only give me oral and not have any release himself was a fair agreement. So the boundary was changed from no PIV intercourse to no being all lovey dovey and limiting our declarations of love. This boundary is much easier for us to respect. We don't feel the need to be all lovey dovey now that the NRE is gone and we know how we feel about each other, so saying it less does not make it less so. Still I almost caught myself saying I love you when we hung up our Skype conversation the other night; partially because Wendigo hasn't had a phone in months and this was our first real life talk over Skype and I customarily say I love you and good bye to the people I talk to on the phone; my parents, siblings, Yoda, and Runic Wolf. So it was more out of habit than any need to say it; though I stopped myself just to be sure b/c I knew that Pretty Lady was a few feet away on her own computer and w/o discussing it first, I didn't want to put him in a position of saying it back even out of habit himself.

3) We have always had a privacy/ secrecy boundary. As in we will not do anything to draw attention to our quad or let on that we are anything more than good friends to those who are not already aware of the relationship and we will not come out to any more of our friends. This became even more important in January when Pretty Lady and I agreed to a one time only 3 some with one of our friends who was in on the secret and he agreed to secrecy and then was careless and left his messenger open for his fiance to read all about us.
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