Originally Posted by ChloeJane
As someone who has just done a lot of revisiting and renegotiation of boundaries/agreements with my husband and girlfriend, and as someone who has been reading numerous threads about people trying to come up with a list of boundaries/agreements that work for them, I definitely thought it would be helpful to have a thread where people could share their current boundaries that exist in their relationships. I thought it would be particularly helpful for people newer to polyamory to see the wide variety of ways that people make polyamory work for them while they try to navigate their own way through boundary/agreements negotiations.
There are so many unique situations, with interesting and varied people creating boundaries/agreements that work specifically for their relationships, comfort zones and lifestyles. Arriving at a set of boundaries/agreements that work for everyone requires a lot of communication, negotiation, and a willingness to listen with an open heart. Some people like to write them out (even sign them!) others prefer verbal communication, some people have very few or no boundaries at all!
Not many right now. My girlfriend and I are allowed to love each other and have a bit of privacy. And I give the same to the relationship between her and her husband.
No kinky bondage sex (i don't go for that anyhow). Other than that... not much.
I for one would not be in a relationship where I could not love. Where I had to have every action supervised by another. No way. Not even for a minute.
So I have boundaries of another kind. It would feel very much like a violation if her husband wanted to have full control over our relationship. And I would never try to demand to be given details of his relationship with his wife.
So.... May I politely suggest that you are not the only one in your little threesome who feels like your boundaries are being pushed. I feel for your unicorn.