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Old 11-27-2011, 08:02 AM
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ChloeJane ChloeJane is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Small Town, British Columbia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonflysky View Post
It sounds like part of the challenge is that your husband....and yourself....really like that "rule/boundary" breaker aspect of your husband, but not when it comes to the relationship between the two of you.
I think that we both appreciate its history in his life at different times, but he has done a lot of growing up since those days in a lot of ways. We do have some challenges with the vestibules of those patterns (as seen here) and both recognize that any change that happens has to originate from him. We've gone to a solid amount of counselling sessions both together, and individually to work on these patterns, and I am super proud of the hard work that we have done as a couple, and he has done as an individual. We also have some pretty incredible communication on our side, and years of working together towards common goals on our side now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonflysky View Post
Now...is the rule/boundary breaking rebel behavior of your partner equivalent to an "addiction" for him??? Maybe he enjoys the thrills it brings to him in the moment so much that he doesn't choose to stop and look ahead at the long term consequences...much like an alcoholic/addict.
No, I don't think that he is addicted to rule breaking in this situation, only that he is on a learning curve and is finding his way with two very intelligent, forthcoming, honest women.... the best scenario to help him find the path that will make everyone the happiest.

I truly appreciate this perspective, mind you and I think it was a smart and very possible observation.
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