View Single Post
Old 11-27-2011, 01:42 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

Originally Posted by Seattleite View Post
How would you share them? It's hard to be detached.
Practice beforehand until you feel ready, if you think you'll lose emotional control in the moment. Work out the words you want to say in advance and do it over and over until they lose some of their raw emotional impact. Then bring it up in the most positive, casual way you can, like "Hey, I wanted to ask you something. I like what we have a lot and I don't feel like it has to change, but I could see us working in a girlfriend/boyfriend capacity too. We could talk about what that would mean if you're interested but I can say off the bat that wouldn't be looking for monogamy from you."

Originally Posted by Seattleite View Post
And how would you feel about receiving such news, especially from someone you've only been involved with for a month? Say, you have a life, you are enjoying it, and someone wants to be bumped on your priority list.. would it make you like them more?
It all depends. You're fwb's now, yes? If my former-fwb Harry had told me that he'd wanted to date I would have told him that I cared for him a great deal but that I didn't think of our relationship that way. But when my now-gf was my fwb, a few months in she told me that she thought of us as girlfriends and my reaction was to think about it for a few minutes, ask her a few questions about what that would mean, and then agree to give it a try. You can try to gauge how he might react based on your intuition or by asking him semi-direct questions ("do you think you'll want to get more serious with anyone in the forseeable future?") or you just take a risk, go for it, and find out where he's at.

As long as you don't come off as overly dramatic and needy, and he's a reasonable guy, I can't believe he'll take it amiss. If he's the sort of person who would freak out and drop you because you expressed a *gasp* emotion, is that really someone worth your time anyway?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote