Just a quick word of advice. It's very important, as you've alluded, to understand that you're all different people and the relationships between you will be different and that's ok. They will develop in different rates at different times, and one-on-one time for any two of the three does not mean that the third person is being left out, but is rather a crucial part of building intimacy. I mean, imagine if you and your husband had never had any couple time just the two of you to develop your relationship?
If you insist, directly or indirectly, that your bf treat you and your husband exactly the same, you'll put a lot of undue pressure on him and everyone. Just let it be what it is.
I know I already linked this site, but let me recommend this essay in particular, more for your bf but also for you and the hubs: http://www.morethantwo.com/coupledating.html