Thanks for the perspective, Rory. I ended up telling him and saying that he was not barred from reading my blog but that he might not want to as it could be a bit much emotionally. He said he probably won't but that he'll tell me if he does.
At his parents' place, where we just spent two days, I kept thinking about the future. On all the walls there were pictures of him and his sister as kids... I found myself wondering often whether he and I will one day go on to form a family of our own. I never used to have these kind of thoughts. I suppose it's part of growing up and not wanting to just drift through life anymore. Or maybe it's just about finally seeing someone close to me have a baby of her own. Hell, I am still totally ambivalent about the idea of kids. But the future, how can I not wonder about it?
We had a difficult conversation on the long car ride home about the things I think I would need from him if I were to feel comfortable making a long-term commitment. Chief among those is the whole sense-of-direction, dealing-with-the-depression thing. And he actually has been doing better with all that lately, to be fair, but there's so much more he could be doing with his life and I don't just mean finding a job. He didn't like feeling like I was handing him a list of faults to correct and I didn't like being in that position myself one bit, but I felt like I had to let him know where I was at rather than just silently wait for him to work on this stuff on his own and then leave if he doesn't.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.