Also want to quickly update the latest development.
I have finally agreed to allow GF to see him AND spend the night this upcoming weekend. It was a significant step forward for me. I'm not exactly thrilled about this decision, but it's as a decent compromise since GF won't be seeing him for the whole month of December, and she's willing to do it on a Sunday - Monday to minimize the amount of time I have to spend at home. Also she'll be spending new years even with me, I'm quite happy about kissing her when the clock strike.
Part of her theory is that we can sit around and talk all about possible scenarios and how I would react, but until we actually try it, we won't know anything. Even though the overnight is happening much sooner than I've anticipated, I'm willing to give a one time exception to see how I would react emotionally. Depending on how I react, we'll decide how regular we make this type of arrangement.
I'll have to deal with whatever feelings that might come up. I've been studying all the online resources on jealousy and reading the forum exhaustively to try to prepare myself for the weekend. I think some rolling around the hay with the GF will ease some of my anxiety, going to try to meditate, read. I know I won't be in the mood to watch TVs / movies. It's going to be a long weekend, any other tips from the poly veterans?
I also came up with some boundaries that I felt would be important to me. I've list them out below, I feel quite selfish in some of these rules so perhaps fresh sets of eyes can help straighten me out if I'm asking unreasonable things.
1.) No public show of affection - i.e.. holding hands, hands on thigh, hugs from behind, cuddling. General "couple" behavior. She claims the relationship she has with him are of "friendship" type, I don't see the need to pretend to be boyfriend / girlfriend in public then.
2.) No lingeries. It somehow makes me feel special to have some ownership of this. He doesn't really care about lingeries so don't' think it's a big deal. Somehow it is for me... Some thing goes for Bed & Breakfast.
3.) Honesty, 'nouf said.
4.) Define the relationship with 'T'. Force T to think about what type of relationship this is. Where does he see this going in 6 months, a year, 5 years etc. All 3 of us need to see eye to eye and play our part accordingly.
5.) Be home on time.
Thanks again for reading everyone. This has been an incredible experience and to have strangers on the internet helping me wish such intimate subject is a true honor. Ya'll are good folks.