So today is a better day.
We had a rough night on Thursday. R caught up with an old friend from many years ago and had a few too many drinks.
He ended up sharing quite a few things with me, about his life and his past and things are starting to make a bit more sense.
He cried a lot about the kids.
On Friday we were feeling worse for wear, R didn't get out of bed and we ended up missing work (not smart, but oh well) we spent half of Friday/Friday night just on the couch watching tv and just talking it was nice.
Haven't had a great run with W, she was texting me and I guess trying to indicate that R has been significantly more stressed out and upset in the last 4-6 weeks. Well that was how long ago I moved here.
Unfortunately it falls between a very bad time, of his first daughters birthday, and christmas time. It was also around this time 2 years ago his ex left, screwed him over and he basically hasn't seen his kids since.
I think his sadness has a lot more to do with that, than it does the day to day workings of our relationship.
Either way, I didn't overeact or get angry at her reply.. I simply stated the fact.
Predictably she said that "polgamy" was just his version of having his cake and eating it too, and that its bullshit and that he does belive in monogamy (He really really doesn't we've had this conversation several times, including last night).
I can't get through to her and I have no intention to keep trying.
I don't think she understands how selfish or controlling she is, mainly because she came from a relationship where the man was selfish and controlling.. much like she didn't reconise the signs in his behaviour. She wont reconise the signs in her own behaviour. Her deal and not mine. R doesn't realise how bossy and controlling she is either, but I am almost sure that a lot of the time he enjoys being told what to do, and where to do it and how long to do it for.
Its the one aspect of his life that is controlled and consistent, I can't blame him for wanting that. But I can point it out and make fun of him for it
Unfortunately me kicking up a stink earlier in the week about scheduling has yet to pay off. W had already planned a weekend trip to see her friend (who hates R) and they wont be back until tomorrow afternoon. Spending my 4th Saturday night in a row... alone and in a place I dont know isn't that appealing but I don't really have much of a choice.
Next Saturday R has to work with his friend for a few hours, and then we are going to do something on Saturday night. Sunday the 4th is the anniversary of my mums death. I want to do something to honor her memory but I can't visit her grave because its 10 hours away. Then W will pick R up IN THE AFTERNOON. I can't stress this enough if she turns up before 4PM, that shit is going to be on like donkey kong. I will make this VERY VERY VERY clear to R during the week and if he does not tell W and respect my wishes, I will not be here when he gets back from China in 2 weeks.
2 weeks seems like such a long time, i've gone months without speaking to him.. and 6 weeks without seeing him since all this began.
So it shouldn't be too bad I guess.
Right now I am contemplating what to do tonight, having a few drinks and eating cheese and olives seems like an option.. but not the very best one.