thank you SchrodringersCat, you raised some really good question.
I failed to mention that when I told him that I needed more from him I also ended our relationship, because i knew it wasn't fair to him, to me and to our friendship, so I set him free. I knew going in that he didn't not want a Girlfriend and the moment i realized that I was in love with him it just made things really difficult for me. I didn't want to put him in a position where he was tip toeing around my feelings trying not to hurt me.
I think his fear is from not being able to live up to my expectations. I have two children and i'm a very family oriented person. I guess he sees me as the good girl next door that needs a good husband and house and a white picket fence. Which i have come to realize I don't.
He has said before that he has never married because he knows he can't be faithful and he would never want to hurt anyone. So I think he fear is more about not being able to keep his pants up. i think he is somewhat of an Ethical Slut.
Like i said this is VERY new to me. I just stumbled upon this and your post has helped me so much.
We are both Mono and never been in a poly relationship, but i can see us both getting what we need in order keep this relationship.
We have talked about having a threesome and are both very open to the idea. I don't have an issue with him looking at other women, actually we both love looking at other women. I love that we are so open and this is something we can share and he doesn't think I'm a freak.
he is currently away on business. i sent him an email asking him if he knew what Polyamory was. gave him a quick description and said that i would like to talk about it when he got back.
I will take your suggestion/advise and will talk things over with him.
I'm very excited about this and hope he feels the same way.