I wanted to thank everyone for the advice and the help.
Opalescent you understood correctly my situation but you made me think about what happened with V. We were dating but we did not say necessarily monogamous. So that could be why he did react badly when I told him I had slept with S. But me and S. did say we were mono but we both wanted to try a three way and the only condition is that if I sleep with someone else he is there. But it never came to fruit.
MrFarFromRight when I read your post I actually winced. Everything you said was right and true and I did not think what I could do to their friendship and if things went bad between us. I donít want to cheat and I want to be honest. I know I need to talk to S. but he is already has insecurities because we donít see each other a lot. He thinks I should be with someone who can give me more time and affection. But I donít want V. because S. is not very present but because I feel comfortable, calm and happy when I am with them. So I really donít know how to broach the subject and how to tell S. what I want. Yes it is tricky even more with my anxiety problems. Do you have any suggestion on how to have the conversation with S.