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Old 11-25-2011, 04:06 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 622

Thanks for your thoughts Mya, that's pretty much what my reaction was back then. We didn't had time to go over these problems again, because so much happened right afterwards.

The problems with the back pain of Sward deepened. He went to see a doctor on Monday but was delayed to Wednesday for an actual check-up. This wasn't the best handling of the situation as we had to find out Wednesday morning, when he wasn't even able to stand properly anymore. Unbelievable how quick everyone can get when someone seems to be in pain visually … they didn't care that much when he just told them that he was having problems. Of course this is partly caused by his constant downplaying of the issues. “Ah, don't worry, this will be alright in no time ...”, “No, that's ok, I don't have to see a doctor, I will get a good rest and be as good as new tomorrow ...” or “Yes, of course I will go see a doctor, but we got our seasonal peak at work at the moment, I will go in some weeks.”

Well, I have to say: REALLY bad choices he made every time I told him to just fucking go to see a doctor and he declined. Now he went, and now the doctor said: You are incapable of working in your field any longer. BAM. His back is wasted. He doesn't really have a clue how to proceed from here on and first of all he needs to be in rehab for some time to get the worst problems fixed. I am so mad at him in a way. I know that this doesn't help right now and I didn't went and told him right away, because he has been down enough and didn't needed my scolding to top it off. But … ugh!

As you might see or are able to deduce from the time, I am sleeping really badly at the moment and have mastered the past few nights by tossing and turning and with a lack of sleep because of this. I am sleeping with Lin at the moment because Sward needs the space in bed. Lin isn't bothered that much by it, but I am interrupting his sleep regularly because I wake up too early or don't sleep quietly enough. Sward is bothered by the fact that I decided to leave him alone and is grumpy constantly. I know that this is him feeling alone at night on top of all the mess that had already happened, but that is just unreasonable. I don't want his back to worsen anymore.
*sigh* As always, we will see what happens next …
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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