Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
my husband is an ethical slut. I describe him as "barely monoamorous." Before me, he had never had a relationship that lasted longer than 6 months because he always bailed as soon as it started to get too emotional.
this is my first time commenting or posting anything in this forum.
I've been lurking here all week.
I just stumbled upon Poly by accident really.
your post really made me certain that this is the next step in my relationship with my 'boyfriend'
we have been good friends for Many many many years. in all the years i have known him he has never been able to form long lasting relationships.
he is very emotionally challenged as i like to call it and a commitment phoebe.
we started a sexual relationship about a month after i ended my 13year marriage (which had been over for 5years, it just took me that long to walk away from 20years of my life)
The past 9 months have been wonderful.
Knowing how he is, i keep things very emotion free and i give him all the room in the world... but i came to realize that i love him, that he is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. i want him in my life.
He has always been upfront about NOT wanting to date, and NOT wanting a Girlfriend. Although most of our friends assume we are dating that i am his girlfriend.
He as always said that i'm a great girl and didn't want to hold me back from finding someone wonderful who could give me all the things i deserved.
SO 2 weeks ago i told him that i needed more from him, that i wanted him to be my boyfriend, not in the traditional sense, but i needed to know that he felt that way too. He said he felt like I needed something more stable and he didn't want to hurt me and he cared for me deeply.
he doesn't want to let me go.
he wants to continue seeing me. he says he cant imagine not having me in his life and I know he is really struggling with being in a committed relationship.
i think opening up the relationship to poly will make a big difference and is probably exactly what has been missing in his life.