I am writing here with the hope that someone can give me advice.
I should tell you that I have dyslexia so there may be quite a bit of errors and since I am completely bilingual but I live in a French province so I donít write in English often.
I donít know where to start. I think I should tell a little about me. I am 21 years old female, I have been a student all my life except this cause I have been diagnose with bipolar and I already have an anxiety problems. I was engage up till august where I left my fiancť for my current boyfriend. Thatís when it gets complicated. I left my fiancť cause he was very oppressive, possessive and jealous but S. (my current boyfriend) is the completely the opposite. I canít say that my relationship with S. was good in the beginning even if it had been 3 years we had been friends. He studying at the university and lives with is mother and she is very controlling she only lets him come and see me from Friday night till Sunday afternoon he was to be back for supper. So with me being not controlled in my sickness I wanted to see him more so we fought all most every week all week. It made us very fragile and we broke up
not long ago not because we did not love each anymore but because the strain was too much on us.
Thatís where V. comes in, we went out for about a week before I cheated with S. ( I am very not proud of what I did
) so I had no choice but to tell V. and he asked me to choose after kite a bit of crying I chose S. and the when I told S. my choice he said we could be friend with benefits but he would not take me back. God that night was so painful I had lost both the pain was so ... just thinking about it hurts. Then after talking, me and S. got back together. And I can say it is much better with me being more stable and him waking up to his mother ways so we see a little more and with me going back to work helps a lot. But me and V. are still friends actually very close friends actually I see him more than S. But the problem is that I still have feelings for V. and we spend so much time together they just continue growing. I not proud to say but we have kissed a few time since I have been back with S. I want both they both make me vibrate differently but at the same time in the same ways making fall in love with them both.
I just donít what to do. They are both open minded people but will they be open to this kind of life? I know I donít have a problem with the poly way but my problem is to them without losing them. I really donít know how to tell S. cause I have talked a little to V. but how to tell really what I want without S. thinking it s because he canít satisfy me. I have a feeling if I donít do something soon I will end up in bed with V. I keep seeing what it could be if we where all togheter
and I like the image alot.
I would appreciate advice and if you have a question or if something is not clear I would gladly answer or clear up the info that is not clear
Ange of faith