I get what your saying I think. I am a very needy person and didn't realize how that affected the people around me until recently. When I was trying to hold onto the way things were before I found myself miserable. That in turned made everyone around me unhappy. I am so much more happier now that I have focused my energy on J. We really are an amazing couple. Hubby and I both still love each other there is no question about that. And when we are able to be together things are spectacularly glorious!! I really think we were only able to get to this point by me letting go of what I knew as "the right way" or the more "normal way and embracing the fact that I am soooooo not normal. lol
Hubby and I have more love for each other every day but we focus our daily life on M and J. It might sound a little out there but out there seems to work for us.