Originally Posted by AnnabelMore
You don't have to agree to anything you're not yet ready for. I assume you two are having long, serious conversations to figure out where your boundaries are, what you can each compromise on, what you each need in order to be healthy and happy and why, and where something might be able to work in a different way? Why does 2x/month have to mean weekends, does he live too far away to see during the week? Could she get by with fewer overnights (that's a big sticking point for many couples) if she could still see him for, say, a day trip?
Work schedule doesn't allow too much room beyond weekends right now, he lives about 30 minutes away so it's certainly not too far for day trip.
She derive a lot of pleasure from waking up with him and enjoying the mornings etc. I want to give that to her, but at the same time, I'm struggling a lot with it. I don't want to become the controlling boyfriend limiting his GF to be at home with him at all times.
Now that I'm writing all these out, maybe my current state is somewhere along the line of once a month overnight + day trip. Since they take so much 'get away' trips, it'll probably end up being more than that by default anyway.
One concern that comes to mind is this. She typically has Mondays off and I work on Monday. Part of me really wants to allow her to see him every Monday since I'm at work anyway. Yet somehow I can't find the room in my heart to allow that to happen. Should I be more open? Am I still too emotionally attached to the idea of monogamous ideals? I can't figure out for the life of me why it bothers me so much that if I allow Monday visits that she'd be seeing him every week + some weekends. Anyone with this type of experience and has came through?