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Old 11-05-2009, 01:47 AM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
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being poly is diffrent for everyone, it really is a very broad term so all i can do is tell you waht it means for me

for me it is about making connections and having loving relationships with more than one partner, and that any of my partners are free to do the same, in an honest and open way,

eventually i would like to live in a family with more than one partner,

in my current situation i have 2 men, one of whom i have been involved with for nearly 6 years and the other only a matter of months, so obviously just now both relationships are not equal however things are fair in the sense that both partners are respected and the newer partner has the option to develop things serious enough that he may one day come live with us and join our family,

I would soo appreciate any and all tips and or pointers to starting a healty poly relationship.
tips i can think of off top of my head
1- COMUNICATE, radical honesty, comunicate about everything, if you feel jeous insecure tell your partner(s) if you are happy tell them too, no matter how difficult the conversation might be to face have that conversation.

2- Do not let the new relationship energy overwhelm you, and this is very hard. You will fall in love and it will be easy to want to spend all your time with the new partner however remember the other person(s) in your life and don't neglect them make time for both and be honest about how much time you want and need.

3- be understanding if your partner gets caught up in new relationship energy, it prob will hapen!

4- be very careful about STDs, i get everyone checked out at STD clinic and i am very careful about using protection.

i am sure others can add more, there is plenty more that i haven't thought off the top of my head

i have never been in a poly relationship and the person i want to start one with i have not known long. i trust him to a point but again we have only known eachother for a year now

i think a year seems like a resonable amount of time but is there any rush, i would recomend you read everything you can first, there is lots of links to diffrent resources on the forum and elsewhere on the net, read good and bad things and then make your mind up if this is for you.


have always wanted to share my love with more than one person and be loved by more than one....i pictured and interperted being poly as being in a family like relationship with more then one person where everyone is loved and appreciated equally. maybe im not right for this sounds good on papper

there is nothing wrong with this being you're ideal, but just be flexible to whatever happens because you cannot predict what will happen, you kind of have to let go and allow things to progress in natural way.

dispite the fact that poly lifestyle can be hard work it is extreemly rewarding (for me anyway)

good luck
Jools
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