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Old 11-23-2011, 09:21 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Originally Posted by mcmctalk View Post
She's requested twice a month session with T. Given there's only 4 weekends a month, I suppose I'm only left with 2 weekends. Add weekends getaway with T on top of that, I just don't know if I have the capacity in my heart to move forward. I love her dearly, but I also cannot lose myself.
You don't have to agree to anything you're not yet ready for. I assume you two are having long, serious conversations to figure out where your boundaries are, what you can each compromise on, what you each need in order to be healthy and happy and why, and where something might be able to work in a different way? Why does 2x/month have to mean weekends, does he live too far away to see during the week? Could she get by with fewer overnights (that's a big sticking point for many couples) if she could still see him for, say, a day trip?

She broke your trust, and while she doesn't deserve to be "punished" like a child, she does need to realize that it's put you in a really bad place and that you need her to rein things in a little right now, NRE or not. It's ok to take a step backwards when you realize something isn't working like you'd hoped, and it sure sounds like this isn't working for you but that you are truly trying. I hope she appreciates and respects that.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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