Thread: Hello
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Old 11-23-2011, 01:43 AM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Just my two cents but it seems you have been dealing with a LOT of emotional stuff for the past six months-- asking for a little time to just pause and let it settle and just BE for a bit is not asking too much.

I can understand that he may fear this will put things on pause, or you'll change your mind-- maybe it will. Maybe you'll decide you can't do this, that IS your right after all. But maybe you just need time to reset a little and let it all settle before you can move forward. I think sometimes people in their hurry to get what they want, don't understand how completely exhausting it can be to actually do all of this emotional work. You need time in between too. And he needs to understand that trying to push you to go at HIS speed will not only not make it happen faster, but could end up keeping you from being able to get okay with things. He'd just be hurting himself in that regard...

And on that... what emotional work is HE doing? Is he pondering why he wants all of this sex with random people? What is he hoping to get out of it? What does he see his future being? Or is he running of of libido and is the big brain shut off? I don't think it's too much to ask him to do a little work as well.

And lastly... he needs to see that if he is not open and honest this whole thing will fall apart at some point and he will lose everything. You already know, so what's the deal with keeping things above board? I know some people have issues with that, but again-- this is the time to figure out WHY it's a problem and make some changes.

Honestly, without the honesty none of this will work out in a positive way. Well, in my ever so humble opinion anyway!
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