Thread: Postmortem
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:39 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,170

I'm doing better than I thought. In fact, I'm doing so well that I wonder when the other shoe will drop, when the bottom will fall out. I can't figure out if I'm actually ok or just thinking I'm ok. (Thinking I'm ok when I'm really not is, unfortunately, something I'm good at.)

I need to talk to a counselor. Unfortunately, there is no poly friendly counselors who also take my insurance listed in the various online resources available. None of my friend's suggestions take my insurance either. I will figure it out but it's frustrating.

Having Beloved take out her stuff was hard. It helped that I was away for almost all of it. I'm so grateful that my couple friends let me hang out with them for the day. The place is definitely emptier. I also realized that I gave her lots and lots of art over the years - to the point where I have very little art in my home now. I have some - but most of it was gifts to her, which I wanted her to keep. But now my house is not full of art and I find this more jarring and disheartening than I ever anticipated. It never occurred to me that this would be the thing that bugs me about her stuff being gone.

I got a promotion at work, and a much needed salary bump! This has relieved much of my financial worries about having just the one income. Ironically, this new job allows me to work just about anywhere in the US. Life is bitterly funny sometimes.
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