Originally Posted by zylya
Not every OPP is born out of fear and lack of self awareness though. This is where our disagreement lies. Your assumption seems to be that if there's only one penis involved, then it must instantly be sexist, anti-feminist and oppressive of the female in the relationship, when this quite simply is not the case. If the OPP IS born out of fear or jealousy then I agree that it is a bad application of the relationship system, but not every OPP is.
Well, I've been on this board for 2 years and been poly for 12 years. I haven't seen any OPP relationships that didnt have that rule for any reason other than jealousy, fear of loss, competition and male posturing, and low self esteem. If you've seen other reasons for it, please cite me some links.
For the record, in my relationships there are no OPPs, everything is left open. However, people on the forum sometimes seem as though they are saying that their way is inherently better (hence my "my poly is better than your poly" comment). Text is a difficult medium for such discussions, so I hope that I haven't misunderstood anyone else's opinions.
I think you have. We're an open minded bunch here. Being in such a minority, we should be the last ones to cast stones. In fact, I'd say the newbies here who thank us all for our openmindedness and compassion far outnumber those who leave in a huff.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags, F, 60, poly-dating, loving and living with
miss pixi, F, 38
Punk, 42, M (dating since Oct 2015)
and a few more casual relationships