Originally Posted by redsirenn
well - Ceoli, that is exactly what I am struggling with.
The hard work and agony is the extra work I will have to do to work thru confronting jealousy, etc. Not a result of abuse or anything like that.
This thing is, that everyone on this forum says that poly is hard work, there is alot of pain in working thru jealousy, things you will have to face that you didn't even know existed, blah blah blah.
So - then everyone has the same niggling x in their "good relationship" as I do.
If it is how you say, why even go thru with it then?
and - i think i kind've answered that part of my question. All relationships are work, regardless of their form... its just a matter of if I am willing to do the work. I would not be changing anything fundamental in myself.
OK - So, the question I really have now is related to the following:
I'm a little lost...are you poly? Or are you trying to adapt to it to be with your partner?
I would find it baffling why anyone who isn't poly would "need" it but I do understand why a person would try to adapt to it in order to be with someone they love.