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Old 11-21-2011, 05:36 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rory View Post
I see the usage of these terms often coming from a feminist standpoint. I the case of the unicorn, there is a concern for the unsuspecting bisexual woman, who enters into a poly-fidelious partnership with a man and a woman in a co-dependent relationship.
You're coming at it backwards, though. The actual term is "unicorn hunters" and refers to the *couple* with unrealistic expectations. A woman is only thus a "unicorn" by dint of being sought by said couple.

As far as the term "unicorn hunters" being derogatory..I agree that it is, to a degree. I also think it is *rightly* derogatory, as what it describes is not a healthy situation. The presence and use of such a term provides notice to those to whom it may apply that they are best off examining their motivations and expectations to have a good chance of success with multiple relationships.

Quote:
But lumping all situations and relationships together within one concept ignores the individual circumstances of the people involved.
The term is not applied to all situations and relationships--at least, not by anybody who is at all knowledgeable about the term. I know folks who are interested by the prospect of "finding a third" and who most definitely are *not* unicorn hunters.

I find your analysis faulty, in that you're positing that the term is aimed at the "unicorn" and that it is applied indiscriminately. Neither of those are true.

Quote:
Moreover, as a bisexual woman nearly exclusively interested in women, I am insulted by the underlying assumption that what all bisexually-identified women most want is lots and lots of penises. In the case of "one penis policy", one can see the assumption pretty clearly even from the name.
There is *nothing* in the meaning of "one-penis policy" (or "one-pussy policy," for that matter) that assumes anything of the sort. The term is applied to describe situations wherein the operating agreement--whether fairly negotiated or not--limits one partner or the other to a single partner of one sex while free to have multiple partners of the opposite sex. It has little to do with the woman involved and a great deal to do with the insecure male desiring the OPP (or insecure female and a one-pussy policy).

Again, I find your analysis of the term to be unsupportable.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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