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Old 11-21-2011, 05:36 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by rory View Post
I see the usage of these terms often coming from a feminist standpoint. I the case of the unicorn, there is a concern for the unsuspecting bisexual woman, who enters into a poly-fidelious partnership with a man and a woman in a co-dependent relationship.
You're coming at it backwards, though. The actual term is "unicorn hunters" and refers to the *couple* with unrealistic expectations. A woman is only thus a "unicorn" by dint of being sought by said couple.

As far as the term "unicorn hunters" being derogatory..I agree that it is, to a degree. I also think it is *rightly* derogatory, as what it describes is not a healthy situation. The presence and use of such a term provides notice to those to whom it may apply that they are best off examining their motivations and expectations to have a good chance of success with multiple relationships.

But lumping all situations and relationships together within one concept ignores the individual circumstances of the people involved.
The term is not applied to all situations and relationships--at least, not by anybody who is at all knowledgeable about the term. I know folks who are interested by the prospect of "finding a third" and who most definitely are *not* unicorn hunters.

I find your analysis faulty, in that you're positing that the term is aimed at the "unicorn" and that it is applied indiscriminately. Neither of those are true.

Moreover, as a bisexual woman nearly exclusively interested in women, I am insulted by the underlying assumption that what all bisexually-identified women most want is lots and lots of penises. In the case of "one penis policy", one can see the assumption pretty clearly even from the name.
There is *nothing* in the meaning of "one-penis policy" (or "one-pussy policy," for that matter) that assumes anything of the sort. The term is applied to describe situations wherein the operating agreement--whether fairly negotiated or not--limits one partner or the other to a single partner of one sex while free to have multiple partners of the opposite sex. It has little to do with the woman involved and a great deal to do with the insecure male desiring the OPP (or insecure female and a one-pussy policy).

Again, I find your analysis of the term to be unsupportable.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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