I'm sorry I haven't replied in a few days, been away from the computer. During this time I had the opportunity to see my BF and the original plan was to be intimate. As the day drew closer I found myself torn with the idea of being with him sexually.
I now see that sitting with him at a restaurant I can handle but even just thinking about being sexual with him has my stomach turning.
We ended up just going to the park and talking for a while. We disscussed that situation again but nothing came of it. He again spent the day that should be mine with her, which I assumed he scheduled it that way since he wasn't getting sex from me.
He's supposed to call in a little while to talk about this again. But I know my stance and how I feel isn't going to change. He just isn't getting it, but I probably added to that by trying to pretend that everything was ok when it wasn't.
I think that for the first time I realized that I will never be ok with this and that I have to begin the process of moving on.