I really appreciate everyone's input. Having an unbiased 3rd party perspective has really helped me see somethings I'm too close to notice by myself.
It's sometimes hard to talk to my friends about my relationship issues cause some of them don't understand how I could even be in a "poly" relationship.
I think that it's time to step back. I don't think that his relationship with S is healthy for him but it's really not good for me. I need to have my wants and needs respected and to be cared for too. I feel like that to maintain 2 relationships equally is not something he's either willing or able to do it's not going to work for anyone.
He says a lot of things but cliche as it is actions speak louder. He's communicating one thing verbally and through his actions another. He and S can figure it out lol.
Thanks for helping me to take a step to less confused