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Old 11-20-2011, 05:41 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I think you may also want to think about the fact that A. contacted you after knowing you chose to honor your wife's wishes. She was willing to move in with you and then you told her you and your wife have a solid loving relationship, and that you made a choice to remain monogamous. You had let your feelings for A. subside and made peace with your decision. Now, out of the blue, A. gets in touch and is asking for a lunch date. and you are thrown into a bit of turmoil about it That is a bit suspect, to me. I don't know how much time had passed, but I think A. should have had more respect for the boundaries you have in place with your wife and left you alone. Maybe this is someone you might not want to be involved with, as there is potential for drama and stirring up a world of shit. Some women know the effect they will have on a man and will use it to their advantage. Maybe it's all innocent about just staying in touch, but still makes me wonder if she's got cowgirl tendencies.

Your wife really needs you now. When the baby comes you will both be so tired and everything about your life will have changed completely. Another baby will be demanding and all-consuming, as will giving extra attention to a possibly jealous older sibling. The baby and your family will be your focus for quite a while. Not a good time to let yourself be tempted by the idea of being with another woman.

Also you may want to look at how easily your commitment was shaken. Some pondering and examination in the areas of self-doubt, dissatisfaction, fears, etc., which have perhaps contributed to your wanting more than what you have in your life now and wavering in a choice you made. Are there fears or insecurities surrounding fatherhood or your growing family that are pushing you toward a little escapism and fantasizing? Might give you some insights into what you want and how to be happy.
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"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 11-20-2011 at 05:50 AM.
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