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Old 11-18-2011, 08:38 PM
ginj2 ginj2 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 5
Default New to poly and in an LDR

I'm in a V shaped relationship, where my boyfriend has two girlfriends. His other girlfriend is polyamorous, and that's how he was introduced to the concept and realized that he was too. We started dating/hooking up, and after some time we realized that we were in love and wanted to be in a relationship. He spoke to his girlfriend and she was very supportive of it. We made this decision even though our relationship would have become an LDR as I was moving away for 2 years for grad school. it's an open relationship, i.e. all of us are free to date people outside. I don't consider myself poly - I have been on a few dates with some guys I met online, and I've enjoyed it, but I'm still trying to figure out my place.

We've had some problems before, but that was mainly due to me being very closed up about my feelings. I have been working on it, and things are much much better. We all get along pretty well. I have learned to express feelings with his other girlfriend as well, and I'm much more comfortable than I used to be.

It is hard because I am so far away (different time zone and everything!). But, we've been doing pretty great in terms of communicating. He is going away from a study abroad trip, and so is his other girlfriend for a month. This may sound silly, but for the first time I thought that she and I were going to be in the same position of not having him around. Study abroad trips are amazing, and it's hard to always communicated with your partner. I mean, I wouldn't want him to be sitting in a hotel room talking to me while he could be exploring this amazing new place he's in. But, her being there is making the distance more apparent.

I'm not going to lie, I do feel jealous sometimes. I know that he loves me a lot, and I'm glad that he has someone who loves him so much near him. And I really wish I could do that - be able to hold him and actually spend time with him doing things we like rather than only talking about them.

How do I not go crazy this January when I won't be able to talk to him a lot, and I know he'll be sharing this wonderful experience with her. We've talked about it, and I know that it's mainly because I keep on missing out on doing things with him. But, I'm terrified of when Jan will actually come. We'll also be missing our 6 month anniversary.

Apologies for the really long post.
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