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Old 11-18-2011, 07:09 PM
mari82 mari82 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1

Hi, I'm Mari82. I'm a 29 year old chick from California. Not married. No kids. I've been in a heterosexual, monogamous relationship with a guy for almost 5 years, which I consider my first "adult" relationship, since it's been the longest, and he was my first sexual partner.

So, I've been very poly curious (is that a real term?) for quite some time now, but I have zero experince with it. Right now I'm reading "Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships", by Tristan Taormino. It's been incredibly insightful. I've also been friends with a married couple for around 7 years, and it was their open marriage that first introduced me to the concept and sparked my interest. I love them, but I wouldn't say they're the best example. The guy has boundary issues, for one thing. He's a bit bipolar and needy, and (without crossing the line too much), has tried to initiate physical contact that I didn't want, even after I told him I wasn't interested several times. You'd think that would put me off to the idea. But luckily, my bad experiences with him haven't ruined my opinion of polyamory in general, and I think this may even be a lifestyle I'm more suited for than monogamy.

The only hitch (and it's a big one) is that it's most likely not right for my boyfriend. I haven't directly asked for an open relationship (yet), but I've tested the waters bringing it up in conversation. He doesn't seem warm to the idea. This is pretty big, because it means that if I truly want to explore this lifestyle, I'll probably have to end this relationship. To be honest, we've been growing apart, and have faced some vital incompatibility issues lately. We're hot and cold on a lot of things: common interests, intimacy styles, needs, wants, etc. We love each other, but it seems that whatever we do might not be enough. I want to say that by no means am I trying to use polyamory to skirt the issues in my relationship, or avoid the confrontation of a break up. If that happens, it will happen for other reasons. But polyamory is something I'd be interested in exploring, no matter what.

So, that's my little intro. I look forward to getting to know you guys
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