Something about the notion of "re-educating a partner" sits wrong with me.
Perhaps it's because I grew up in a very open family, where I never felt like my opinions were bad, and I was allowed to come up with my own views of the world... but if someone were to try and "re-educate" me on sex, I would feel offended. Somehow, that makes it sound like my views are "wrong."
What does and does not constitute sex is as much a personal issue as cultural. Something that feels very intimate and sexual to one person may be completely boring and pointless to another. Does that mean one of those people is wrong? How can you be wrong about what your body says feels good?
It depends on how you feel when you do those acts. Do they feel like "just having fun" or do they feel like "being intimate?" Do you have the same reaction when you do those things with anyone or just certain people?
When I say the word "sex" I'm usually using shorthand for coitus. That's not to devalue the ways that other people get intimate, and that's probably because I don't put "sex" up on a pedestal. So what if two lesbians can't have coitus? Many times that I've had it, I've been unimpressed. They really aren't missing much.
Everything else, I put specific qualifiers: anal sex, oral sex (cunnilingus and fellatio), fisting, fingering, humping, spanking.... These things can all be "sexual" if they turn you on. They're just not what I refer to when I use the short form "sex."
I'm not into humping or making out. I get bored. So to me, those are not sex, because sex is not boring! This is not because I was culturally stunted. On the contrary, I was raised by a couple of hippies, free from influence of the Christian church, with my own copy of "Our Bodies, Our Selves" from the time I was 8.
And as much as I enjoy the feeling of an appropriate penis in my vagina, I equally enjoy many other activities such as cuddling up and falling asleep spooning and cunnilingus and manual g-spot stimulation and.....
Edit: I can see the possibility of confusion, though, so I'm thinking I will quit using the word "sex" altogether, except when talking about whether a baby chicken is a boy chick or a girl chick. Coitus, here I come!
“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.” —bisexualbaker
Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 11-18-2011 at 05:20 AM.