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Old 11-18-2011, 03:22 AM
Missgt Missgt is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 4

Ahh.... I do not find older than me creepy... I just said that they were EITHER creepy OR far older than me. I do not consider 40s far older. The 58 year old who recently contacted me was a little off-putting. And by creepy I will tell you- it is something about the look of the man (presentation wise in his picture) or the responses he sends not age, hair color, or any other arbitrary factor. I think most of the men I have found on those sites are looking for something not so much about relationship building.

Does this help clarify?

Oh- and to be honest nerdy is totally hot. Both husband and the gentleman I am trying to explore with are engineer/IT. Somewhat awkward, but very likable and yes sexy men. One is just more in tune with his emotions and more into cooking, music, and art while the other is more into beer brewing, fantasy football, and reading.

Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
The three foregoing responses are all pretty much right on the money: honesty is required, in part to prevent harm, in part out of respect for the right of other people to make decisions for themselves.

I did want to say something about this, though:

I'm not offended by this, really. It's just a puzzle to me, as a forty-something married man just trying out polyamory for the first time: how do I avoid coming across as creepy?

I wonder if, in our culture, "older (married) guy looking to date" simply equals "creepy guy". It's the stereotype of the wannabe swinger, in the depths of a midlife crisis, pathetically desperate to catch one last taste of youth before the long decline . . .

In fighting this stereotype, all I have to fall back on are my nerdy charm and rusty dating skills . . .
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