Originally Posted by redpepper
You seem to be saying two things here. You want change and development of the emotional relationship along with setting some boundaries and that you want it to be done now. I'm confused, which is it?
Sorry for the confusion! I think what I was trying to say was that I ought to have set boundaries and rules long ago. We haven't brought up all the petty annoyances with her, and probably ought to have. I'm terrible about handling conflict and so is DH. Instead of talking to GF and setting up a situation where the established couple were ganging up on the new girlfriend we just grumbled to each other.
At this point I think it's time to cut our losses and break-up. There are just too many annoyances and not enough of an emotional connection.
I think what I'm asking for from you guys is ideas for how to break-up without drowning GF in petty complaints and ganging up on her.