New, dangling our feet
I'm Tom, married to L, with 2 sons. I'm heterosexual, while L is...I guess you'd call it hetero-flexible.
After a monogamous 15 years of marriage, we decided last year to open ourselves up to the opportunity of new romance. My wife's had a gentleman friend and I currently have a ladyfriend (hey we're in our forties; boyfriend/girlfriend sounds a little too 'slip me a note after homeroom', you know what I mean). While L's romance has fizzled, I still enjoy the company of my ladyfriend...and L is slowly getting iinterested in joining us romantically.
I don't know if that makes us "poly", per se. Ladyfriend's got her own life, with her own family...we're not setting up housekepping together. Additionally, although we care about/love this woman, her husband is unaware of her extracurricular activities. L and I figure that this is her issue and not technically our business...but we both (I think me more than her) have a little ethical trouble with the idea that she has to sneak around/lie, while we do not.
Not exactly sure what I'm looking for here. Advice would be great...friendship even better. And then we'll see where it goes from there I guess.